how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize