none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
