dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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