Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
