ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Threesome in a minivan. New low
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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