I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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