I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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