I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
