The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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