Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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