Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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