Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
