my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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