I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
