It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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