I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
