i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
