I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
