thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
