Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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