Me. At least after what I've been through.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
