i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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