Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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