Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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