let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You're like the curious george of whores
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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