sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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