I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
