i just identified you from a description of your pipe
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
