worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my being single is dangerous.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just sucked dick on a ferry
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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