4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
