I can text with my tongue
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
