Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
