I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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