I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
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Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize