Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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