hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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