i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
high people should be assigned attendants
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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