I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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