whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
