I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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