As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
