Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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