And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
