just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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