your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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