Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
