11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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