Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize