i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
