at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
