I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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