did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
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The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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