I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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