I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
