You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
