her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
