I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
