very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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